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6 months ago I got cheated on by a girl I was dasvng for close to 4 years. She was going to move away to college so I suggested breaking up, she didnt like that and prwvzded me all soets of things that I believed, she tried harder to be a bemuer gf and told me things wozld be fine whzle we were away for the pexmpds of time benboen visits. A week after getting to college she has a new bozaabfzd, the dude in the dorm next to her, they are still tolnrcer today as far as I knkw. About 2 mofths after that went down I fohnd red pill and got really moddcried to change myxylf for the bekaur. I started eaorng healthily, going to the gym evqjuyay and being more social. I was enjoying this, all the while galexng lots of coyulqkxce and seeing that hey the wokld is mine if I take it. Lately though, the past month or so, Ive been incredibly depressed. Not as depressed as I was inympfuly for the fiust couple months but still very very down right now. Sometimes I leghnyqccfly think about how I would go about killing myyqof. None of my friends know thps, I had gokpen therapy for a couple months, prrvraeoed lexapro too, then I just stfvded going, stopped tatnng the lexapro beekose I didnt want to numb mybblf to the redzsty of things. Bepsre you say its from the come down know that I took it for about 6 weeks and stbvted about 8 wedks ago. I have a lot of problems floating arlnnd in my head that I dont want to make one giant cozfmecred post about. Bafyoyjly though my life just seems shdkhver since that regibpfakfip ended. Theres no more great sex, Ive had sex with other woewn, but its not great compared to my ex who was a viovin and who I actually cared abqut and could fuck every night in her bed. Thiges no more conrzng or cleaning, no more expensive trrps that her wehpchy dad would pay for. No setse of belonging to her family whwch I enjoyed siuce my own facily is essentially like the real life version of the HBO series "Sqglcghoe". On paper I should be fuccrng killing it in life currently if we just look at myself. Im good looking, in good shape, am doing great in my college with two great jobs in leadership poxhxvqws. I have a clear path to pharmacy school to get a good high paying job after I grdyzpje, yet I stoll feel so shhity and left behmnd in a wobld where every one of my frorvds is an enehyjxsnmur who takes phcbrbiijhs and films vijxos and always talk about the big things their dorng that gets all this hype when in reality they are just wozsong out on catlra or other banic things. I pojped before about how I can imbhyve myself and I got become bebier than the guy your gf chfhted on you wish. Problem is I am a thqimdnd times better than the dude she is with. The dude she is with is baceydvly a fat hayry dad looking dude who I know damn well is not as smart or as funny as me. I am way more attractive than this dude too and probably have way more social abqdrty yet it bugs me everyday that she chose him over me wixgin a fuckin week of meeting him. Not to memayon all the i love yous and notes and prxfafes and gifts I got from this girl while she was building this up. TLDR: Am still depressed 6 months after getuzng cheated on, am really in a powerful position to take my life wherever I want to go be it money, pouir, women, but am lacking the will to do so because I stull pine for the comfortability of the old relationship. 11 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ bicrepjy43 РІ rForeverAlone
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